Let’s open with the elephant in the room. The popular image of a sex doll owner in 2017 is of a solitary man with a whole lot of looming social stigma. While cultural touchstones like Lars and the Real Girl provide a more nuanced view of the place artificial sex partners occupy in our society, many people who consider themselves otherwise sex positive have a narrow or even judgmental view of their use.

But what if aside from being a perfectly valid outlet for single men and women - especially victims of trauma - sex dolls are also a promising marital aid for an increasingly frisky generation of couples? Spoiler alert: they are. To give us a foundation for our investigation, we spoke with a representative from the folks at Real Love Sex Dolls.

RLSD report that roughly one third of their doll buyers are married couples, and while the lion’s share are members of generation X (born from the 60’s to the 80’s), there are naturally a growing number of millennials as well. Female dolls, including many with a penile attachment for “double the fun”, are being included as effective threesome partners in committed relationships.

The conversation around introducing a sex doll to your marriage can be fraught and spooky because of the aforementioned social stigma, but compared to introducing a real live “unicorn” (threesome-interested woman), it’s a walk in the park. Couples report greatly reduced senses of jealousy, and of course a sex doll is much easier to find than a socially and emotionally compatible human being.

All that being said, rule #1 in any healthy relationship is still to have an open line of honest communication. If you’re curious about bringing a sex doll into your marriage, broach the topic in a frank way and at a sensitively chosen moment for your partner. If they shoot it down hard, respect that boundary and continue considering other options. But if they, like so many monogamous folks, share your open-mindedness, then start researching it together!

Like any mutually enthusiastic relationship decision, buying a sex doll should be seen as a bonding experience rather than a point of insecurity. If your partner has dropped hints about this sort of interest in the past, it’s also not unheard of to buy one as a gift - just be certain you’re reading the signals right before committing.

There’s also plenty to be said for using a sex doll as a holdover while a partner is out of town or out of commission, but even just sticking to the prospect of a threesome, they’re a gift that keeps on giving. They even make new positions possible, such as allowing a man to experience vaginal intercourse while eating his actual partner out.

Aside from the purely recreational reasons for wanting to add a sex doll to the mix, RLSD have found a rising trend of sex therapists prescribing their dolls as a tool for sexual health. Couples not interested in using a professional sex surrogate can use a doll to explore their personal anxieties and boundaries through an inanimate proxy. Many of these couples also end up using them recreationally, of course.

If the potential benefits aren’t enough to persuade you of the validity of sex dolls as a marital (or life-roommate) aid, consider this: what is the fundamental difference between a sex doll and a simpler sex toy like a dildo? To be frank, there is none. One is a bigger investment with an often more profound application, but both are tools that real people use to relieve a little bit of life’s sexual stress.

Would you feel jealous of your partner’s dildo? Would you feel ashamed for using one yourself? If you answered ‘no’, then you’ve already realized there’s no need to overthink the implication of using a sex doll. If you want to have a threesome but don’t want to disrupt your marriage, the answer is right in front of you (assuming you’ve already opened up that incognito tab)!